Jacob Fili is a simple man. He likes his cars fast, beer cold, and women dumber than he is. As a child, Jacob showed such great promise. Hailed as a child prodigy in the areas of math and science, his parents enrolled Jacob into many programs for the gifted. Over time, his grades began to suffer and Jacob grew increasingly lethargic. This dramatic shift in behavior happened around the same time that a mysterious lump began growing on Jacob’s forehead (he has affectionately named the lump Jorge). Currently, Jacob has dropped out of community college and is living the high life as a bartender for the overprivileged.
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